We all go through tough times, and people help us through them. Other times we have been worried about other people’s mental health. Whether they are a friend, family member or colleague, there are many ways to support somebody you care about.
On this page:
How do I know if someone has a mental health problem?
Sometimes it will seem obvious when someone is going through a hard time, but there is no simple way of knowing if they have a mental health problem. Sometimes you don’t need to know. It’s more important to respond sensitively to someone who seems troubled than to find out whether or not they have a diagnosis.
Although certain symptoms are common with specific mental health problems, no two people behave the same way when unwell. You may notice changes in their behavioral or mood if you know the person well.
How can I help?
There are many ways you can help a friend, relative or colleague who has a mental health problem here are 10 Ways to Support a Loved One with Mental Illness
Listen Without Judgment:
Create a Safe Space: Ensure they feel comfortable and secure to express themselves.
Active Listening: Pay full attention, without interruptions or jumping to solutions.
Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge their emotions and show empathy.
Avoid Judgement: Refrain from judging or belittling their experiences.
Offer Supportive Responses: Use phrases like "I'm here for you" to show support and understanding.
Encourage Openness: Let them know it’s okay to share their feelings without fear of being judged.
Educate Yourself:
Research the Illness: Delve into reliable sources to understand their mental illness, its symptoms, and treatments.
Learn from Experts: Follow mental health professionals, read books, or attend seminars to gain deeper insights.
Understand the Challenges: Recognize the specific difficulties and emotional experiences associated with their illness.
Stay Updated: Mental health knowledge is ever-evolving. Keep yourself informed about new research and treatments.
Empathize, Don’t Sympathize: Aim to empathize with their situation rather than just feeling sorry for them.
Recognize Misconceptions: Be aware of common misconceptions and stereotypes about mental illness to avoid them.
Ask for Their Perspective: Engage in conversations with your loved one to understand their personal experiences and needs.
Encourage Professional Help:
Discuss the Benefits: Talk about how professional help can provide coping strategies and treatment.
Research Together: Offer to help research therapists, psychiatrists, or support groups.
Normalize Therapy: Discuss therapy as a normal and positive step, not a sign of weakness.
Accompany Them to Appointments: Offer to go with them to their appointments for support, if they're comfortable with it.
Respect Their Pace: Understand if they're not ready yet, and avoid pushing them.
Offer to Help with Logistics: Assist with appointment scheduling or insurance inquiries if needed.
Highlight Success Stories: Share positive stories of others who've been helped by professional treatment.
Be Patient:
Acknowledge Healing Takes Time: Understand that recovery from mental illness is often a slow process with ups and downs.
Avoid Pressure: Refrain from pressuring them to "get better quickly." Healing can't be rushed.
Stay Consistent: Be consistent in your support, even if progress seems slow.
Celebrate Small Victories: Acknowledge and celebrate small steps of progress.
Manage Your Expectations: Adjust your expectations to avoid frustration from apparent lack of progress.
Offer Reassurance: Regularly reassure them that you're there for the long haul, no matter how long it takes.
Maintain Open Communication:
Initiate Conversations: Gently start discussions about their feelings and experiences.
Be Approachable: Make it clear that they can talk to you anytime they need to.
Non-verbal Cues: Pay attention to their body language and non-verbal signals.
Encourage Expressing Feelings: Let them know it's okay to express emotions, whether positive or negative.
Avoid Dismissive Language: Steer clear of phrases that might invalidate their feelings.
Regular Check-ins: Make regular check-ins part of your routine to show you care.
Respect Their Boundaries: If they're not ready to talk, respect their space and let them know you're available when they are.
Use 'I' Statements: When discussing sensitive topics, use 'I' statements to avoid sounding accusatory.
Provide a Non-judgmental Environment: Ensure they know that your conversations are a judgment-free zone.
Be Sensitive to Their Comfort Level: Recognize and respect topics they may not feel comfortable discussing.
Offer Validation: Acknowledge their feelings and experiences as valid and real.
Help With Everyday Tasks:
Offer Specific Help: Instead of a general offer, suggest specific tasks you can help with, like grocery shopping or laundry.
Understand Their Limits: Recognize tasks they find overwhelming and step in to assist.
Create a Supportive Routine: Help establish a routine that makes daily tasks more manageable.
Encourage Independence: Balance assistance with encouraging their independence, respecting their ability to handle tasks they're comfortable with.
Collaborative Planning: Work together in planning and organizing tasks to make them feel involved and autonomous.
Promote a Healthy Lifestyle:
Encourage Physical Activity: Suggest regular exercise, which can improve mood and reduce anxiety.
Advocate for a Balanced Diet: Help them focus on a diet rich in nutrients, which can impact mental health.
Support Regular Sleep Patterns: Encourage a regular sleep schedule, as sleep greatly affects mental health.
Limit Alcohol and Caffeine: Discuss the impact of substances like alcohol and caffeine on mental health.
Promote Mindfulness and Relaxation: Introduce practices like meditation or yoga to reduce stress and improve mental well-being.
Create a Healthy Environment: Foster a living space that supports mental and physical health, such as decluttering or adding plants.
Establish Boundaries:
Communicate Your Limits: Clearly convey your own limits and what you can reasonably provide in terms of support.
Respect Your Needs: Acknowledge and prioritize your own mental and emotional well-being.
Set Time Boundaries: Determine and communicate how much time you can dedicate to supporting them.
Emotional Boundaries: Protect your emotional health by not taking on their emotional burden as your own.
Mutual Respect: Ensure that your loved one respects your boundaries just as you respect their needs.
Be Consistent: Consistently maintain and reinforce these boundaries to avoid confusion or misunderstanding.
Join a Support Group:
Shared Experiences: Connect with others who are going through similar experiences for mutual understanding and support.
Learn New Strategies: Discover new coping strategies and resources shared by group members.
Emotional Support: Gain emotional support from people who truly understand the challenges of supporting someone with mental illness.
Reduce Isolation: Feel less isolated in your experiences and build a sense of community.
Confidential Space: Benefit from a safe and confidential space to express your own feelings and challenges.
Show Unconditional Love and Support:
Affirmation: Regularly affirm your love and commitment, regardless of their mental health state.
Non-Judgmental Attitude: Show that your support isn’t conditional on their health or behavior.
Be There in Tough Times: Stand by them even during difficult periods or setbacks in their mental health journey.
Celebrate Their Individuality: Appreciate them as a person beyond their mental illness.
Physical Presence: Sometimes, just being physically present can be a significant form of support.
Reassure Them: Continuously reassure them that their mental illness doesn’t change how you feel about them.
Remember, your support can be a crucial part of their journey towards recovery.
How do I look after myself while caring for someone with a mental illness?
Caring for someone with a mental illness can be challenging. It can increase the risk of you developing a mental health condition, as well. Looking after your own physical and emotional needs will allow you to keep caring for your loved one throughout their illness and recovery.
It’s normal to experience a range of emotions when caring for someone with a mental illness. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge your feelings and the effect of your loved one’s illness on your own life.
Consider sharing your feelings with a friend or family member, or seeing a counsellor or psychologist. Some people find it helpful to join a support group for carers of people with a mental illness.
It’s important to look after your own needs. Try to get enough sleep, follow a balanced diet and maintain your own interests.
If your loved one needs a lot of support, you may need to plan a break. Arranging respite care can help you focus on your own physical and emotional needs while knowing that the person is being well cared for.
How do I respond in a crisis?
People with mental health problems sometimes experience a crisis, such as feeling suicidal or experiencing their own or a different reality.
You may also feel a sense of crisis, but staying calm is important.
There are some general strategies that you can use to help:
Listen without making judgements and concentrate on their needs at that moment
Ask them what would help them
Reassure and signpost to practical information or resources.
Avoid confrontation
Ask if there is someone they would like you to contact
Encourage them to seek appropriate professional help
If they have hurt themselves, make sure they get the first aid they need
Seeing, hearing or believing things that no one else does can be the symptom of a mental health problem. It can be frightening and upsetting. Gently remind the person who you are and why you are there. Don’t reinforce or dismiss their experiences; acknowledge how the symptoms make them feel.
Key facts
Caring for someone with a mental illness can be challenging and it’s OK to feel a range of emotions.
Looking after yourself will help you to stay well and better care for the person with mental illness.
Learning about your loved one’s mental health condition can help you support them.
A mental health safety plan may help you and your loved one know what to do in a crisis.